D-d-d-d, D-d-d-d, TJ Maxx!

Anybody remember that jingle??

I was out running some errands today and decided to make my OC Goodwill rounds. Whee. Bought a kids' toy, and a duck-headed red umbrella. It goes with my black and white polka dotted rubber boots I bought at Marshalls. I fully intend on taking a pic and throwing it up here because it is seriously just that cute. Red, white, and black. Great palette. Also -

Marshalls is my favorite store.

Maybe Home Goods is tied with it. Home Goods blows my mind. I find the stuff there A-ma-Zing.

That is because I have a sick fascination and uncontrolled compulsion for buying dishes and other breakables.

So, I hit the Goodwills, and TJMaxx is next door to one of them.

Why the post??

1) I'm sliiiiiiiightly frustrated at not finding shoes that FIT my FAT FEET for the two weddings I'll be in, in the second week of September, which also happens to be ... my first week of school! Oh, yay. Such good planning, sis and best friend. :P
(Update: I did go on a little shoe-specific shopping trip with my mom late this afternoon, and actually found TWO pairs of gold shoes that will work for Hillary's wedding - I will bring them with me to her shower in Santa Barbara on Saturday, for her approval! Go, mom.)

2) This little girl was JUST too FUNNY. I think she was about 5 or 6. In the entire time I was there, including two trips to the dressing room, she was just spouting stuff. I am sure she is a hoot at home. Also, her voice carries. Very easily. She's a doll. Blond hair.

So, the first thing I overheard - I was perusing and browsing the shoe aisles, and I hear the little girl's voice exclaim loudly, "Well if you wear that, your peepee will show!!" I believe they were by swimsuits/juniors.

And, I mean, who doesn't love to hear the word "peepee" loudly broadcast across the store whilst you are shopping?? Good times.

She seemed to be on a "peepee" fixation, making several subsequent comments involving the showing of the pee+pee with certain articles of clothing that were under scrutiny.

I find it cute, what some parents teach their kids to call things.

"Peepee" is preferable to the anatomically correct label, I suppose, when one is out in public, and surrounded by strangers.

"Put that on and I'll be able to see your peepee!"

Great. I heard the mom shush her and say, "Alright, that's enough peepee talk!"

So then, the next thing I overheard was in the dressing room. Trying on clothes. I think the mom had an older daughter, and the little one. I first hear anxious worrying over toys - "Mommy!! Mommy! You forgot our toys!!"

I guess they were left in the cart with stuff they weren't trying on, because that's the explanation I heard. This little girl was very worried, though.

So the older one was trying something on, and the mom as well, and the littler one was in the same dressing room as the mother. I hear "Mom, look at this, I love it ..." from the older daughter.

Mom: "But you already have so many ..."
Older Daughter: "No, I don't! I only have that one, and this one is different ..."

Mom shushes the younger daughter, who is making some noise.

A bit of quiet ensues, with faint sounds of rustling clothing and personal adjustments being made.

And then, out of the blue - "I CAN SEE YOUR CRACK BUTT! I CAN SEE YOUR CRACK BUTT!!", followed by some nervous giggling. I don't know if she was feeling embarrassed, or utterly amused by her own hilarity.

Yeah, your "crack butt," mommy. As opposed to your clean-and-sober, or even merely-drunk, butt. Which shows.

You know what this girl makes me wish?? That I could just haul off and holler every little thing that pops into MY head with the running commentary on life's observations, yo.

Mom shushes her abruptly and in earnest, this time, and basically tells her to pipe down, because "That's ENOUGH". I get the distinct impression that mommy is feeling embarrassed. Not mad, just shy of thorough mortification.

I walked out, at that point, and was SO tempted to comment in passing, "I bet she gives you an earful every day, doesn't she?" but I thought that might be a trifle interefering.

And then, just as I was about to leave the store, they were looking at socks, or belts, or purses, or something, in that general vicinity, and I took a quick swing around jewelry.

I do remember edging past them, when they wandered over towards the bath and beauty products, and as I round the corner of the jewelry display, out of the blue, with only silence preceding it, I heard "You're the best mommy in the world."

At least, that's what I thought I heard. It was sweet. It was unprompted. And it also sounded a bit like "You're the Pest mommy in the world."

I mean, I didn't expect a lil Caucasian blonde kindergartener to use the word "pimpest," did I?

Mom, to Little One: "What? *laughs* Where did you learn that? Who taught you that?"
To Older Daughter: "Did you hear what she just said??"
Older Daughter: "No, what?"
Mom: "Say it again!"
Little One: "YOU'RE THE PIMPEST MOMMY IN THE WORLD!!!"

Oh, yes, she did.

I sort of love that kid.

I wonder what the family's holidays and barbecues are like.

More laughs than a barrel of monkeys, I'd imagine.

Have YOU shown your "pimpest peepee crack butt" to the world today?? :)