London by bus - three cheers for a travelcard!

(Also, this is my longest post yet. You have no idea. No, really, I mean it. You'll see when you get to the end of it. Also, in advance - congratulations for getting to the end of it.)

And a big frickin' boo for the absolute DISASTER of a day I had the Friday before I left London for the rest of my trip. I think it was June 30. Bah! Curses!

My friend Pam (whom you will see in later pictures) made plans to backpack this past summer as well, but she headed out later than I did because she had a conference to attend. She'd only previously been to Prague, and then some day trips from that area, so she really wanted to spend a good couple days in London exploring. Well, since I was there as well, we decided to meet up and I told her I'd meet her at the airport when her flight arrived. I invited Lex along, so the plan was - I'd meet Lex at Euston station like before, then we'd take the tube over to Heathrow.

Ok.

So firstly, I left the house like, 15 minutes later than I'd planned. Well, that's not usually a problem, and I have patient friends that know what a terrible time I have with punctuality, but things I did not bargain for on this particular day:

1. Peak. Hour. Traffic. And. Schedules. Meaning, at the times when commuters need to get into the city (I think between like 7 and 10, or something), the trains run at the same time as usual ... BUT THEY MAKE SO MANY MORE FRIGGEN STOPS!! LIKE, 15 MORE!!!! Ah! gah! HOly canNOli! :(

So this put me an additional 30 minutes behind schedule. I was starting to get worried about meeting the Lexnoid.

WELL! Since I was running late leaving the house, I'd just hopped on the first train heading into the city and hoped to find a conductor to buy a ticket from, instead of getting thrown off the train after getting berated for not having a valid ticket.

Apparently, the conductors like to avoid the morning rush hour anyway because there's probably just way? too? many? people?? And with the crowds getting on and off at all sorts of various extraneous random teeny podunk stops anyway, they'd be done checking/selling tickets and then have a slew of people come on the train again.

So I never saw a conductor to buy a ticket, and being the nice, honest, conscientious citizen/foreign traveler that I am (oh yeah, well, I also needed an all-day pass for the underground, which could all be put on the same card), as soon as I got off the train at Victoria Station in London, I went to one of the conductors manning the exit gate to see about buying a ticket for the trip I just took. He directed me to a conductor at another platform next to another train. So I flag this guy down and explain my situation, and he sells me a ticket, fine and dandy, la di da.

At Victoria, you must put in your valid ticket in order to exit the inter-city train platforms to enter the train station and make your way to the adjoining tube station. I put my ticket that I'd gotten A MINUTE BEFOREHAND in, and the gates wouldn't open. I tried this about 2 more times, while feeling increasingly embarrassed, incompetent, confused, and stressed because I was already monumentally late.

I go again to one of the train conductors manning the gates, who, along with another handful of colleagues, apparently has nothing better to do than sit and chitchat. He looks at my ticket, tries at the gate nearest him, and it still doesn't work. He checks the ticket again, I direct him to the TIME in which I had bought it - it should be valid!- and THEN he points out to me that the ticket I'd just been sold was for off-peak travel only. Meaning, I couldn't use it until like, 10 o'clock.

It was currently 9:30 at the time. Apparently he also had no convincing answer for my question of why a conductor would sell me a ticket that I couldn't use for another 30 minutes. HELLO!!!!! Men! tal! mid! gets! *nearing the state of hysterical sobbing and hyperventilating*

I really think I had arranged to meet Lex at 9. I think this was to be the day we would partake of fatty fast-food breakfastiness and bring it on the tube with us.
Good glory.

So I ask the dude, "Well, how much would it cost for me to buy another ticket that would be valid at this time?"

"About twice as much."

Freaking! Rip off!!! I have no idea how they can run the country like this.

So in the end, the conductor tells me he'll "be nice" "since it was our mistake" and he opens the manual gate for me to pass into the station. That's good. I decide I will just go into the tube station, purchase a one-way ticket to get to Euston, and by the time I get there, the daycard travelpass will be valid and it won't even cost me too much extra.

I get down there, the line is millions of feet long, especially to buy from the ticketing office, so I look over at the automated machines, and there's about 5 people waiting in front of each machine. I give a tremulous sigh of resignation and get in line, KNOWING that I have some spare change in my wallet. Well, guess what. I get up to the machine, start digging around in the wallet, and for the life of me, cannot find a single coin. No nothing. I think all I have on me is a £20 note, which the machine will not take. Which means, I need to go to the ticket office. Which will take, at least an additional 40 minutes of standing in line with loudly talking Americans.

Stress stress stress!!!

I get out of the line, take one last look in my purse, AND FIND THE STINKIN' CHANGE!!

Oy vey.

The lines are once again, 6 deep.

By this time, there are seriously like less than 10 minutes before 10am, and I decide - frekkit, I'll just wait until the ticket is valid, and go then. I wait, and hem and haw, and try the ticket a few times and see that it is rejected, and realize that there is actually a digital clock in front of the turnstiles, and rush to enter at 10 but it's rejected again!!!!

So the time on the clock and the time according to the turnstile they like totally don't even match, because it was 10:01 on the display clock before the goldurn dratted OFF-PEAK ONLY stupid daypass would work.

It takes a little bit longer than usual to get to Euston. I get there. I look around. I don't see the big giant hulking person. I wander around. I check the clock. I wonder how the HECK I am going to meet Pam's flight at 10:30. I don't blame him for not being there, and I wonder if he's left for the airport or decided just to wander around the city or what.

And I decide to just forget it and head over to the airport already since at least I can meet Pam. In times like these, it SUCKS not to have a cell phone!! Ugh @ the meeting people in a gigarntic metropolis like London!!

2. Apparently, taking the tube into Heathrow is a really, really, really bad idea.

Here's why. Um, hello!!! The lines which are SUPPOSED to go to Heathrow don't always actually go there! They can just randomly stop at any station in between and not go on any further! And you are supposed to know this! And change trains! And a whole lot of silly hogwash!!

And the worst thing: IT TAKES AN HOUR AND A HALF TO GET FROM CENTRAL LONDON INTO FREAKING HEATHROW.

This day was SO unimaginably bad.

I totally stood up Lex, and I was hoping he would not be furious at me for wasting his day/time/money, and I wonder how I will explain to him, and honestly, by the time I got to Heathrow, after waiting at various stations for the train which would ACTUALLY go ALL the way TO Heathrow instead of stopping 2 stations from it and parking there ... I was like nearly 2 hours late to meet her. And they have these giant people movers and huge-arse terminals all far away from each other and it just takes for-freaking-ever.

In the end, I find the gate where her flight should have arrived, and she's not there, and I check the monitors and see that her flight has arrived and all the luggage has been unloaded, and I look around for her, and get in line at the information desk to page her ("Mallard ... like the duck?") and wonder what the heck I am doing making such a mess of things, and wasting the entire day when I was looking forward to seeing her before we were to meet up for the World Cup in Berlin ...

Seriously near tears.

So in the end. I gave up waiting for Pam. I decided to explain to Lex as soon as possible after I got home and hope he wouldn't totally refuse to speak to me ever again. And I remember that the night before I'd bought a ticket from Denmark to Lithuania with SAS but it wouldn't let me do e-ticket, and I had to go to an office to get a paper ticket, but since I was American with an American passport, all the offices that they'd forwarded to me were in America (Yes, please choose either San Diego, Chicago, or New York!). So I decided to hunt down the SAS ticket counter to see if I could get a paper ticket printed up there, and at least get something out of spending THE ENTIRE DAY on the ugly-boogly-weird-and-not-even-scenic-tube-to-Heathrow.

So I did that, and had the paper ticket, and that was fine.

I headed back into the city and had the address for where Pam's hostel was located, and thought I could maybe catch her there.

By the way. People watching on a tube to Heathrow is kind of interesting. You get individuals with all their luggage, and people that LOOK like they are well-off, like older couples and stuff, and you wonder where they are going ... And I also saw these two young guys with backpacks (theirs were SO much lighter and not even stuffed to the gills like mine was) who somehow along the way picked up some blond chick that I am not convinced they really knew before meeting on the train but they were awfully awfully friendly with her so that made me wonder if she wasn't actually a friend of theirs that met them on the way???? Despite the grins and giggles, I still think they didn't know each other before I saw her get on.

Anyhoo!

I check my little underground map to see where the heck a "Swiss Cottage" would be in the middle of freaking London. I get out at the station, I see an ADORABLE outdoor market right before me!! Wowee!! It's like a farmer's market!! And there's food!! And I'm so famished!! (Now I wonder why I didn't take a pic ... but I guess I didn't.)

So I wander up and down the stalls to get a good full look at what they have to offer before I spend my swiftly-dwindling stash of cash. Off the top of my head, I think I went with potatoes au provence - there was a giiiiiiiiant vat of brownish-sauced chopped potatoes with peas and chicken. It just looked soooo rustic and inviting. And I got a mini-fork, like what they sometimes give you in England for fries (aka chips) because it's gauche to eat those with your bare hands??

Then I felt greedy and decided to ALSO get a ham and cheese crepe AND a chocolate crepe. The man was so nice and friendly. And his French accent was so garshk-darn adorable and cheeky.

And the crowd of (college?) kids sitting on the steps of some random building were totally unhelpful when I was asking for directions to this hostel where Pam was staying. I had NO map and only knew the name of the street ... College Crescent and had a devil of a time trying to find it. I ate as I walked. That helped. But by the time I was on the chocolate crepe it was a bit cold and I was really stuffed and it just wasn't feeling so good.

So I asked at least a dozen people where this thing was ...

The nice young man said, "Gosh, I really don't know, I'm afraid you've asked the wrong person!" But I didn't mind because he seemed so very sincere and was smiley in his little business attire sans-suit coat. So after he left I stood and watched him walk away up the street because I felt like it.

The young couple told me it was up the street, and to the right, and past two stoplights, and across the street but on the left, and then follow the signs but that was as much as the woman could remember offhand.

The very svelte and European-looking young woman I asked the other side of the street told me in some weirdo accent, "I'm sorry, I don't know, I'm not from around here."

The unshirted construction worker I asked yelled, "NOOOOOO, this isn't XYZ Street!!" with a terrific sense of impatience before he stormed away up the stairs of some house in the middle of renovation.

:(

After literally walking up and down the street 6 times, and crossing down into every side street I saw, and back to the tube station, and across the other side just in case, I decided to go into a huge giant apartment building just to ask for directions. And the guy at the front desk told me it was 2 buildings up the street.

And then, Jiminy Christmas, I finally found it. And it is a GORGEOUS building! Like a giant Swiss Chalet with nooks and bay windows and wowee, beautiful inside as well. And quiet and serene. So I just asked if Pam had checked in, which she had, and then I asked if they knew if she was in or not, and they said she had checked in an hour ago. So I asked if I could go up to her room and they said no because I was not a guest. Well, fine.

So I wander up the stairs anyway because they did not kick me out and I sat and took a break on the landing in the window seat of the bay window and I started writing her a note. And I saw a young Asian woman check in and start lugging her big suitcase up the stairs and (whoo hoo for strict security!) I followed her up and she even held the door open for me to go into the card-keyed hallway. I knocked on Pam's door but heard no reply. I wandered up and down the hallway hoping to get a bright idea, but no. So I finally just shoved the note under her door and decided to use the bathroom while I was there. Um, it was the teeniest one I've ever been in. Literally no more than 2-feet wide - I couldn't even turn around in there without taking my backpack off. And it wasn't even real walls, it was like thin temporary camper-type plasticky cubicle thingies. Ew Ew EW!

Ugh, so frustrating.

So, I decided, since it was my last day in London before heading to Amsterdam, I might as well make full use of the travel card which was good for all tubes and buses, and I got out my handy dandy bus route map and took a look at which buses went past nice sights and landmarks. They do have good transportation maps for this sort of thing - and basic public transporation "sightseeing routes."

I swung by Portobello Road again (aaaah, Octopus!) and decided to walk up the whole street to see if there were any more antique shops (there were, but I never got anything) to go by Notting Hill since it was mentioned in a movie once.

I think the tube station for Portobello Road is Ladbroke Grove. So guess what. I get out, go up Portobello, check out Octopus, go BACK to Ladbroke Grove to try to take the tube ... and take a picture of the place where Lex and I had lunch, actually, our first day - whoo, fish n chips:

then I see a giant sign in front of the tube station, a whiteboard, upon which is written a message saying that the station is now closed because of something that happened along the line. So I can't even take the tube. Wretched!!!

So I decide to walk to the next tube station in the general direction I'm headed ... and I see some nice cute things, actually.

This was near Portobello Road. There were ... Japanese, I think, though they could have possibly also been Korean ... models doing a photo shoot in front of a vegetable stand. I came around so I wouldn't be in their shot, but that's when they decided to pack up and move on down the street!!! These girls were very "typical Asian model" and all kitten-faced and doll-like and super-teeny-built-like-a-bird. You can see the head of one of them (there were two) between the girl in the hat and skirt and the bleached-headed guy in the lime green shirt. The guy on the very right was the photographer.

I love this door and gate. The hinges and scrolly metal accents are great. I want something like this someday. And it goes so great with the cobblestone!


I also came upon the teeniest little side street. I don't know if these were all houses. There was actually a giant barred gate between the main street and this little side street. I got this shot by sticking the camera between the bars. I love how it looks totally like olden days, and little, London.

Gorgeous! Frenchy! Looking! House. Great colors, great shutters, great roof and I love the flowers. :)

Hee hee. Y'all know why I took a pictures of this, right?

Some random shop window: My favorite is the one on the bottom far left. Go, big London style. Who the heck would want to wear a GYNECOLOGIST patch, though??

I got on a couple buses, and missed stops because I didn't know what they looked like and it was hard to read the little bus stop and street signs indicating the stops, but this looked too gorgeous to pass up. Kensington Gardens. Lots of people strolling around in the afternoon, I took a picture for one cute little couple.

Somehow ended up going past Picadilly Circus again; this was the Eros statue.


Another French-looking building. These pictures are mostly taken from the city bus - a big red double decker, actually! I love the colors of this building. No idea what it was but I did see cafe tables along the street and ground floor.

Is this the British Museum down below??? I have no idea and have never been. But there was a big concert. Some woman was singing. Nobody I recognized. Maybe I could have looked up a concert schedule for that day. At any rate, I STILL don't have ANY clue what this "Mayor of LondON" thingamajig is.

The Tower of London!!!

So I wanted to take the bus all the way back to Victoria Station so I could see more. I'd seen Tower Bridge before, but that was about it. It was actually quite difficult trying to switch bus lines, and find the right stops, especially when there were one-way streets and I wouldn't know which way the bus was headed, necessarily, especially if the stop was around a traffic circle :(.

However, I did find buses which went past Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament. I will definitely have to spend more time there next time because that building is GORJAMUSS!

Trying to get back to Victoria station ...

This is the London Eye on the left, and in the middle are the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben. Whee.

So, since it was getting dark, it actually became MUCH harder to find anything. As a matter of fact, I got waaaaaaaaay seriously lost. Lost for about 3 hours. Got off at the wrong bus stop, couldn't find the alternate bus stop for the next route, decided to get fish n chips one last time. Ended up half-eating my fish at the bus stop outside some art school with loads of students milling around about to go out clubbing or something. Ended up in the pitch black on some unknown street wandering around just trying to get my bearings. Asked a young African woman if I was on the right side of the street to catch a bus to Victoria station - she told me to go to the other side - so I did - then I asked the bus driver before I got on, if it was right - and he tells me I'm on the wrong side ... :/

I do finally get on the correct bus. I'm in the back, top deck, and wave to random people in double-deckers behind me. I swear they waved first. Two young girls with long hair. They got a kick of out of it. It's also weird to be 15 feet up in the air but 3 feet away from someone in another bus - because that's how far away you are from the people in the bus behind you, when you are in the last row on the upper deck.

Gah. By the time I got back to Crawley, it was freaking MIDNIGHT. And I'd been trying to get to Victoria since SIX PM. :(

Woe is to the me-ness!

I walk back to my uncle's place all freaked and skeeved out, since it's midnight, and dark, and I'm alone - but mostly it's safe. I knock on the door, and then window, because I'm not trying to wake up the whole dang neighborhood. I have to knock like 5 times before my uncle opens the door. He pokes his head through the curtains to the living room window, first, though. He's totally up, and randomly playing guitar there. Also had been drinking, so I don't think he heard me, lol. I apologize to him for coming back so late, and tell him I got majorly lost, and he nods and goes back to the living room while I head upstairs and just CRASH.

The next morning he says he's glad to see me, because he says he doesn't remember hearing me come home the night before. Haha!! I told him that he's the one that let me in. He admits to drinking a bit too much and says at least I made it back safely.

Truer words were never spoken!!