Souplantation.

Okay, before I backtrack all the way to last Saturday (I've been very busy these past two weekends!!), I just wanted to say that tonight I had Souplantation for dinner again.

This makes the 3rd time in like, barely over a week.

I had Souplantation for a late lunch with Jen last Saturday, Dec. 8.

It was so good (albondigas!!) that I decided to have it for dinner again after I left my parents' house last Sunday, Dec. 9. I sat by myself and horfed down so much food my stomach freaking HURT, while reading "A History of Taiwan in Comics." Stinkin' hilarious.

Anyway, so I had it tonight, too. And wonder of wonders, they had Cream of Mushroom soup!! Boy, that is just about my favorite there, I think. I believe it was a tad too salty by the end of my dining experience there, but it was quite enjoyable. I took a thrift store find of a little paperback of vintage children's book covers to keep me company.

The most memorable event was ... well, a guy who uncannily reminded me of FOOLIO:

Like, HELLO.

Okay, so the guy at Souplantation tonight ... had darker hair. And darker eyes. And a smaller nose.

But SERIOUSLY. He talked JUST as loud and obnoxiously as this guy. And just as overemphatically.

Whoa!

I was finishing up my dinner, perusing through my book, and I hear this guy talking loudly on a cellphone, and he walks by. I'm like, alright, maybe he's about to leave.

Oh noooooooo. He stands about 2 tables away from me, where his table was, and proceeds to talk for at least 10 minutes - loud, histrionic, overdramatic, theatrics.

Grating. Annoying. Making of the hackles be rising.

So I sigh deeply, and decide to get one more small plate of salad and a last cup of Cream of Mushroom. As I'm getting up and walking back to the salad bar, I give the guy a mild, stare-y, evil-eye. I'm sure he has no idea why I was staring him down. I was hoping he would be gone by the time I got back.

No such luck.

He was talking to his mother, or something? "Ma, Ma, MA - can I even TELL you how many times - really, the number is innumerable - how many TIMES I have received these FRANTIC PHONE CALLS from you - for what? I mean, FOR. WHAT. I ASSURE you that TOMORROW she will be IN. NEW JERSEY. TOMORROW, Ma. In New Jersey. Tomorrow night, she will be IN New Jersey, I will put her on the plane MYSELF, and could you PLEASE just make sure that when she gets there, that's she nice to me. How come you always do this, Ma? She's gonne be IN NEW JERSEY TOMORROW NIGHT and I AM GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN."

*itching strangulation fingers*

So seriously, after another 10 minutes of this, I start looking at him - he's facing away from me. I check out the other guests that are around, and they all seem to be just eating quietly, minding their own business.

I consider my options: do I make eye contact with him again? Do I give him the "SHHH!!" finger to my lips? Do I get up and walk over to him and kindly ask him to take it outside? Or should I ask for a manager, or one of the bussers, to go and talk to him? I remember hearing him when I was IN the salad line 15 feet away, and I remember looking around for a manager because I was starting to get IRKED.

And in the end, as I looked desperately for a passing Souplantationed employee, with none passing by, I see a sudden flurry of activity RUSHING up and all of a sudden I hear a woman bellowing "WOULD YOU TAKE IT OUTSIDE! We've all been sitting here listening to your conversation and I paid money for dinner NOT TO LISTEN TO YOU TALK, so TAKE IT! OUTSIDE!" with a stalk-stalk-stalking away for final emphasis.

Have you ever seen a bird like, totally flip-out in hysterics with the wings all flapping and the bird bouncing everywhere and feathers flying all over and all that? Cuz it was a bit like that.

Oh my. Talk about drama. I mean, by the time this woman - who I initially thought was one of the hostesses or something, but turned out to be a fellow patron(ess) - walked away, he was off the phone, had turned it off, and was starting to walk away. Yee-ouch. That had to be embarrassing for him, complete oblivion to others' irritation notwithstanding. I'm glad I thought of calling for an employee to take care of it.

I mean, she was effective, but her whole presentation was like, so entirely hostile!

Still, there were scattered patches of applause after what she did. I looked over to where she sat down and she was with a man, ostensibly her husband, and two teenage/young adult-looking children. I wondered if they were embarrassed. I wondered why the man wasn't the one to get up and confront Mr. Loud Easterner Cellphone Talker.

Hmm. This is how people solve their problems, I guess.

But honestly, loud cellphone talkers DO annoy me. I don't WANT to hear other people's conversations when I'm in a restaurant or out shopping. And I try to talk quiet and not for too long when I'm out shopping also, but quiet has all sorts of subjective interpretations so maybe I shouldn't do it at all.

But seriously, dude's inane, asinine, mother-insulting conversation bordered on the unbearable. So I'm glad he got a chastening talking-to, even if it was a bit overreactive.

Now if we can only manage to get a similar message across to obnoxious, aggressive, self-absorbed, inconsiderate, jackass drivers.